naivete

let me start by saying sorry. i just realized what mess i was for the last 2 weeks. perhaps i'm scared of losing you. too scared that i freak out every time. so i guess you won't talk to me again for the next couple of weeks. or may be, you may not talk to me at all. poor me.

so this is it i guess. goodbye :(

the ultimate

you confuse me.

if you're gonna go, just go. don't turn back, don't say a thing.

because you're making it hard for me. you tell me things, then you walk away. then you come back. if you were in my shoes, how would you feel? i honestly feel like i'm being used.

you just come back when you feel like you want to and then you leave me when you're starting to feel ok.

if i tell you the things you told me, how'd you react?

sometimes i wish i would be numb of your presence. you're my weakness.

assurance

so after a few days of ranting, you stopped talking to me.

i didn't know what to do honestly. i was at the point of telling myself to give up. i am far away and i was thinking it'd be easier to just move on and have a new life. but something tells me to hold on.

it kept on reminding me not to give up regardless of what you do or say.

then you decided to put down your walls. i was still sensitive. so i put on the sarcasm to remind myself that it's over, we're over.

you didn't respond.

then i thought. you're okay with this. so what the hell, i should force myself to let go.

i was walking alone holding back my tears. i tried to pretend that i hurt my eyes to keep people's attention away.

i sat down. i thought of you then *boom* down came the tears. it has been about 3 days that i kept on crying. you know what stopped me from crying?

it was when you said you love me. nothing has changed and you're just doing the right thing.

it was as if my heart was just looking for an assurance that we're still on the love boat. it's just that the current got a bit stronger.

i love you. always have and always will :)

apology

i don't know how to start.

sorry.

sorry for being in the same position where i'm in right now. sorry if i haven't been able to move forward. i am a mess. i always tell you that.

i don't know how to fix my life.

i honestly feel bad for myself. i don't know where i am going at this point.

while you one the other hand, you're one step closer to being someone else.

i wish you'd come back though. you're my last strand of normalcy. my last hope but now you've walked away.

sorry.

i really am sorry.

-fatass